Uncomfortable Email Skank

Here's a post to distract myself from how much I hate everything school related. Why do I have to sign up for 5 different websites to turn stuff in? Why aren't ANY of these bastards letting me log in? Yeah, I'm pissed. Anyways...

I'm going through my spam email (something I've never, ever done) and I have one from someone named Adriana. I don't know her; she clearly has the wrong person. I am definitely not a dude. It's both funny and weird. All typos from this point on are entirely on purpose. It's painful.

Essentially, she's moving RIGHT EFFING NEAR me and I'm the only person she knows, aside from 3 cousins, but she cant chill with them. "We've" talked about chillin before and now that she's single we can. "I" told her she was cute and she "thoguth" I was cute too. She's 23, a virgo (thanks for including that. Horoscopes are the only valid way to summarize personality), has a cat, and is "a super horny gurl... ilove p0rn."

Awkward. It gets worse.

When she moves down here enxt week she needs a job- do I have any hookups? Right now she works from home and even though she CULD continue with that job she has, she'd prefer anythign for a change. She's on one of those nude webcam websites doing exactly what you'd expect. In her own words:

"i figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol"

She then proceeds to give me a link for 3 free codes to "chat wit her" since it's the only way to contact her these days, but said if I login  "ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.." But she warned if I shared that code with anyone else "ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U"

Obviously this negates the whole pretense of giving the code to only chat, not see her get naked and...

She signed off by saying xoxox Adriana.




So yeah...that happened.